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Common Tricks used in Child Abduction |
DEAR PARENT:
This information on “common tricks used in child abduction” is designed to assist
you in teaching your children personal safety. A knowledge of these “tricks” and
how to respond to them will greatly assist your children should they be
approached by someone wanting to do them harm. We recommend that you go
through this information first and then discuss the different situations with your children. Some parents have found that role- playing the
different situations with children with an emphasis on their response can be very
effective.
Please remember that the “tricks” discussed heree are only the more
common ones and that those who prey upon children are sometimes innovative
in their efforts. The key to personal safety for children is in the awareness by the
child of some of these examples and the knowledge that they can be assertive in
order to protect themselves. They have a right to say “no” to adults. Also teach
them to come to you with any incidents that sound similar to those described.
Call your local police immediately should this occur.
COMMON TRICKS USED IN CHILD ABDUCTION
"Stay away from strangers" and "Don't talk to strangers" are probably the most
common warnings parents give their children in an attempt to prevent abduction
or exploitation. Unfortunately, these warnings ignore everything that is known
about the people who commit these crimes against children, leaving children
vulnerable to those who would prey upon them.
To begin with, the term "stranger" suggests a concept that children do not
understand. It misleads children into believing that they should only be wary of
individuals who have an unusual or slovenly appearance. In the real world
though, child molesters and abductors are very normal looking individuals
coming from all walks of life. They can be, and in most cases are, someone
known to the parent and child. As a matter of fact, research has shown that
upwards of 80% of all sex crimes against children are committed by someone
known to the child - someone the child would not consider being a "stranger."
No matter how many times a child has been warned against "talking to strangers"
they will, in their normal day to day activities, regularly talk to strangers. Most
people love children. When they see a child, it is quite normal to respond with a
smile and sometimes a brief conversation. The mailman and the milkman will
smile and say "hi" when they pass the child on the walk. The store clerk might
carry on a brief conversation with a child to relieve some of the boredom of a
quiet day. The new teacher or principal will normally be kind and friendly to
children and rightly so - they would not be in that profession if they didn't
genuinely care about children. All of these incidences convince the child over a
period of time that mom and dad were wrong with their warnings about
strangers. Is the new babysitter not a "stranger" for a period of time? Is the new
day care worker not a stranger for the first few weeks?
To counter this problem, some parents choose to promote the terms "good" and
"bad" strangers. From a child's point of view, this has to be even more confusing.
When the "good" stranger asks the child to do something that doesn't seem right
how should the child respond? When the child is in need of help, the person that
the child was warned about as possibly being a "bad" stranger may be the only
person available that might be able to assist the child. Remember that the
majority of people would respond and assist a child in trouble. We also tell our
children to go to a store clerk or security for help should they get lost. Is this
person not a “stranger?”
So, what can a concerned parent do then to prevent a possible crime against
their children?
It is more appropriate to teach children to respond to certain situations, rather
than certain kinds of individuals . . .
A clear, calm and reasonable message about "situations and actions" is much
easier for a child to understand than a particular image or profile of a stranger.
Research has shown that those who prey upon children, whether they are
strangers or someone known to the child, use only a selected number of ploys or
tricks to attract their prey. If children are taught these tricks and how to respond
to them should they be approached, their chances of being victimized are greatly
diminished.
These are the more common “tricks” used by child abductors in order of
occurrences (some descriptions may overlap, but abductors may use more than
one type of lure):
1. Assistance:
Children should be taught that adults do not normally ask children for
assistance - they ask other adults. If they are asked, children will normally be
eager to assist an adult carrying some packages to the car or into a home. They
will also be eager to help the teacher with a school project and rightfully so, but
there is a difference between the class working on a school project or one child
being singled out to assist. The intent of the lure is to get the child away from
his or her friends or from a public place where the assault can take place.
Examples of this lure include someone asking the child for assistance in "finding
a lost puppy,” "opening the car door" at the far end of the parking lot or
"assistance in carrying these packages in from the car." No matter who does the
asking, even if it is dad's friend "Uncle Bill" or the school principal, the key is to
remember that they should be cautious of situations in which the adult has
arranged to be alone with the child.
2. Job Offer:
The abductor approaches the child with an offer of a job. He or she may even
dress the part by wearing suitable clothes that would convince the child and the
child's friends that the offer is legitimate. Part of the ploy could include the use
of a uniform, a construction hard hat or a business suit. Again the lure is
intended to first develop some form of trust with the child and then to take the
child away from the child's circle of safety, the child's friends and neighbour -
hood. Children should be taught that, should anyone approach them with an
offer for a job, that they cannot, under any circumstances go with that person
into their home or into their car. All job offers, including babysitting, should be
checked out and verified by parents. If your teenage daughter comes home with
a possible babysitting position, the prospective employer would actually feel
more comfortable leaving their child with a sitter whose parents are concerned
enough to check them out. Don't be afraid to call the prospective employer and
tell them that you wish to come to their home and meet with them prior to your
daughter beginning work. When you visit their home decide then whether the
atmosphere is one in which you would feel comfortable with your child being
there.
3. Authority:
The abductor poses as a person of authority, such as a police officer, security
guard, construction superintendent, or anyone else that could be considered by
the child to be a person of authority. He or she approaches the child and at
times will tell the child that he or she is arresting the child for drugs, theft, or
anything that might sound reasonable or possible to the child. Handcuffs, at
times, have been used with older children. Children should be taught that they
have the right to question authority. Credentials of any person wanting to take a
child somewhere should be checked out by a teacher or parent before the child is
allowed to go anywhere with that person. Children should also be taught that
police do not normally approach children in the schoolyard to speak with them.
Should the occasion arise, even in an emergency, where the police would want to
speak with a child at school they will go to the office. If a store clerk wants to
question your child for possible theft they will not take the child from the store.
They will ask them to come to a security office in the store. The key here again is
to not leave the store with someone even if they say that they are with the store
security. The intent of these ploys is to remove the child from the normal safe
area, which means "other people."
4. Fear:
The abductor uses threats or shows a weapon to get the child to go along. Children
should be taught that their best chance in this type of situation is when they are
still in an area where other people are around. In other words, under no circumstances,
even with the threat of a weapon should a child leave a "safe area,” such as
a shopping mall and go with the person issuing the threats. The abductor gains
control of the situation only when they have left the area where the child can get
help. Should the occasion arise, the child's best chance for escape is to scream as
loudly as possible "Please help me! This is not my father /mother." The offender is
not going to stay around. He is going to find the nearest exit and be gone. At this
point, it is also important that children notify police of the attempted abduction.
This response might save the life of another innocent child. Fear is also used as a
means of continuing an established relationship with a child. "If you tell anyone, I'll
get your younger sister." Children should be taught that, no matter what the
circumstances, you, as a parent, will listen to them and help them should they be in
any situation where they feel threatened by anyone.
5. Gifts:
Those who prey upon children still commonly use candy as a means of attracting
them. Beer and drugs are also used to attract older children. The intent is to make
the child feel obligated to them and henceforth willing to go with them somewhere.
Parents should also be concerned should their child come home with new clothes,
stereo equipment or anything else of value that their child may not have a
reasonable explanation for. Parents have the right to question all gifts or anything
coming into their home even if the gifts are from a friend of the parents.
Remember that someone known to the family commits the majority of crimes
commit ted against children. Is a friend of the family taking a special interest in one
of your children? If so, why? It is not normal for adults to bestow gifts upon
children without an apparent reason. Does this same person offer to baby sit your
child? Does this person spend excessive amount s of time at your home and
possibly engage in games or "horseplay" with your children? You have a right to
question this person's motives.
6. Modelling, Photo or Beauty Contests:
One of the oldest ploys is to make the child feel "special,” asking the child to pose
for pictures or telling the child that he or she should "be in pictures." Abductors
are known to have expensive cameras and at times rented studios. Photo sessions
are even real sometimes to develop the child's confidence, in time though, turning
to pornography and seduction. They pose as newspaper photographer s, television
cameramen or modelling agency "scouts" and approach the child with suggestions
of stardom. The child is told not to tell, but to "surprise mom and dad when they
see you in a television commercial." Real agencies, studios or media obviously do
not work like this. They would have a parent's consent before ever talking to the
child about a "modelling career." Children should be taught to report to their
parents (or teachers at school) any offer of "picture taking" sessions modelling or
media interview offers. Parents should then check the photographer out with their
company to see if it is real. If it is, parents should go along with their children to
any sessions or interviews.
7. Games and Fun:
Abductors have been known to pose as a clown or even join in games with children
in order to develop trust with the child. This can sometimes take place over an
extended period of time. Arcades, for instance, are probably the most common
place for abductors to go in an effort to meet children. They might become
"regulars" at the video arcade and even give money to the children for games in an
attempt to develop trust with the children. Eventually, as with the "gifts" lure, it is a
means of creating a situation where the child owes the person something making it
hard for the child to turn down a request for a "favour." Children should be taught
to be wary of any adult or even an older child wanting to take part in any games of
fun with them. It is not uncommon, for instance, for a child molester to engage in
"horseplay" with a child regularly and then eventually begin "accidental touchings."
These "accidental touchings” get more frequent over a period of time leading to
actual fondling. Fun and games are okay, but anything unusual should be reported
to someone they trust.
8. Attention and Love, Confidence and Trust:
This "lure" is a part of many of the other "tricks.” The abductor will use some form
of "attention" to gain the child's "confidence." Child abductors and molesters
sometimes develop a relationship with the child over a period of time, which
eventually leads to sex or abduction. Parents should be concerned should any adult
or older child take a "special interest" in their child. At times the offender will feign
attempts at caring for the child's needs, such as offering a back rub, or offering to
bath the child; thus providing themselves with actual physical contact. It is their
means of gaining an intimacy with the child that they can exploit. Parents should
be concerned when a neighbour regularly invites their child over to "watch
television" or to "use the pool" or if an adult seems to be developing a relationship
with their child through school, clubs or sports. Many adults do devote countless
hours to volunteer work with children and this is obviously commendable.
However, if an adult seems to be singling out your child with "special interest," you
have the right to question that. Remember too, that those who prey upon children
will, in many cases, use known organizations as a means of meeting children.
Although these organizations do have "screening" processes, the offender may not
have a criminal record.
9. Computers and the Internet:
With the recent evolution of the "information highway," children need to be wary of
a new breed of abductor. The information highway allows people from all over the
world to communicate with one another. Those who pose a danger to children have
adopted this power as a new means of access to children. The offender will seek a
child who appears lonely or a child who may be having trouble with his /her
parents. The offender may lie to the child about his /her age. After developing a
relationship, the offender may suggest to the child that they meet. If the child
agrees, the offender will use this opportunity to abduct or sexually assault the
child. Parents should monitor what the child does and sees on the information
highway. While a computer may seem harmless, it can be very dangerous if the
wrong person is on the other end. Parents are encouraged to explore the computer
with the child, and make sure the child tells them about any "friends" they have
made. Finally, the child should not go to meet anyone they have met on the
computer. If someone does try and meet your child, contact authorities
immediately. This person may be contacting other children as well.
As a parent . . .
.....teach your children that they can be assertive in order to protect themselves.
Give them the confidence they need to question a situation that does not seem
right to them. Teach them to respect their instincts.
.....establish an atmosphere in your home in which your child feels truly
comfortable in discussing sensitive matters and in relating experiences in which
someone may have approached the child in an inappropriate manner or in a way
that made the child feel uncomfortable.
......if your child does come to you with an experience that sounds similar to one of
these tricks call authorities immediately. Another child may not respond the way
your child did and may be in danger.
Most important, make your home a place of trust and support that fulfils your
child's needs. |
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